A bulk of my work with couples consists of tuning into the here and now. I rely heavily on Gestalt Therapy principles learned through the Seattle Relationship Clinic. One major dynamic of the clinic is opening communication within the couple dyad. If communication is not built upon, the couple will begin to run in circles and continually engage in chaotic communication behavior. Opening awareness into the healing dialog begins with understanding present moment needs and desires.
In addition to this, I am trained in Gottman Couples Counseling Level I and II. Relying on Gottman Couples Counseling method opens awareness to what is currently manifesting in a specific relationship. In working this way, the couple is invited to attend to their own feelings and emotions individually. A partner is allowed to speak their truth while in session, free from interruptions and interpretations from the other. Together we’ll increase awareness and use of one’s own voice.
In addition to the Gottman principles, I have completed the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) externship garnered by Sue Johnson. Utilizing EFT, a therapist allows the deeper emotions to be spoken and heard from each partner. In hearing the other’s words or deeper wounding, the partner is then allowed to embrace the other in an emotionally focused way.
As anxiety tends to manifest in individuals, the pressure often seems too overbearing and intolerable. This can lead one to sink into a dread spiral that can produce fear in everyday situations. The unfortunate part is when anxieties become so worrisome that they then manifest somatic symptoms within the individual, solidifying the hopeless notion that one is destined to remain in this constant fear and anxious state forever.
Depression can manifest in many ways. Men often mask depression as anger and lack of control, often thought of as rage or the inability to control one’s actions; while women tend to take depression inward and begin the self-damaging cycle of not being good enough, yearning for external validation. Through depression, one might often be referred to as one that “cannot pull themselves together.” How is your current depression state serving you … or are you serving your depression?
Men’s Life Stages Issues / Fathering Issues
Often we are raised as men in today’s society with little to no teaching from our own personal father or any form of father figure present in our life. Now, add to this, the lack of knowing how to be a father to your children with little to no involvement from a masculine figure in the house. How do we do it? Do we act out in range? Do we act out in anger? Do we show multiple signs of depression? What’s next for us?